Managing Chronic Pain: How Counselling Can Help

If you’ve ever said—or silently thought—this question, you’re not alone.

You’re in pain. Real pain. In your neck, back, head, joints, gut, or everywhere. Maybe it’s been months, maybe years. You’ve tried heat, ice, medication, stretching, specialists, late-night Googling, and maybe even yoga with that one YouTuber everyone recommends.

So when someone suggests counselling, it might feel like a bad joke. “I’m in pain. Like, literal physical pain. I don’t need to talk about my childhood—I need to not feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.”

Totally fair. I’d feel the same way if I hadn’t seen—again and again—how counselling can genuinely help people reduce and cope with chronic pain. Not by ignoring the physical side, but by working with the nervous system, the brain, and the whole messy, beautiful story of your life.

The Connection Between Pain and the Brain

Pain is real. And it’s processed by your brain.

Let’s be clear: I am not here to tell you it’s “all in your head.” That is a damaging message that too many chronic pain sufferers have received. But here’s what we do know—your brain plays a massive role in how pain is felt.

When you’re injured or sick, pain is a warning signal that helps you protect yourself. But when pain sticks around long after the injury has healed—or when your body keeps sounding the alarm even though you’re not in danger anymore—that signal can get… well, overprotective.

Your brain starts to interpret even safe, normal body sensations as threats. Suddenly, your pain volume is cranked up to 11, even when the physical source isn't as urgent as it once was.

That’s where counselling comes in.

Working with Your Brain

We work with your brain—not against your body.

Through approaches like pain reprocessing, we help retrain your brain to respond to signals differently. We gently teach it: Hey, this sensation isn’t dangerous. I’m okay. I don’t need this alarm to be so loud anymore.

We notice the automatic thoughts that come with pain—like “I’ll never get better” or “I can’t handle this”—and work to untangle them. Not with toxic positivity, but with tools grounded in reality and neuroscience.

When you’ve been stuck in a pattern of fear, tension, and exhaustion, these small shifts can have a surprisingly big impact.

What Counselling Actually Looks Like

You don’t lie on a couch and tell me your dreams. Unless you want to. More likely, we’ll get practical and work together to:

• Find your window of tolerance

• Set small, manageable weekly microgoals that help grow your capacity to participate in life again

• Pace your energy (to avoid pain flares)

• Ease your nervous system

• Make room for joy

• Shift unhelpful thought spirals

• Gently create space for life beyond pain

  
  

We may also talk about:

• How pain has affected your life and identity

• The stress and grief that come with invisible illness

• The inner critic that tells you you’re lazy or broken

• The guilt about missing out

• The fear of making things worse

• How to build moments of safety, rest, and trust in your body again

  
  

The Reality of Living with Pain

This isn’t about pretending the pain away.

Pain may still be part of your story. But it doesn’t have to write every chapter. You can build new patterns in your brain and body. You can feel more grounded, more hopeful, more you again.

So yes, counselling may not seem like the obvious next step when your body hurts. But it might be one of the most surprisingly powerful ones.

The Benefits of Counselling for Chronic Pain

Counselling can provide numerous benefits for those dealing with chronic pain. Here are a few key advantages:

Emotional Support

Living with chronic pain can be isolating. Counselling offers a safe space to express your feelings—to share frustrations, fears, and hopes without judgment.Having your experience validated can bring tremendous relief, especially when others may not fully understand what you’re going through. This emotional support can be crucial in navigating the ups and downs of chronic pain.

Better Understanding Your Pain

One of the most powerful parts of counselling is learning how pain actually works. Chronic pain isn’t just about what’s happening in your muscles, joints, or nerves—it’s also about how your brain and body communicate about danger and safety.

When pain lasts for a long time, your nervous system can become extra sensitive, like a smoke alarm that goes off too easily. Even harmless signals—like light touch, movement, or stress—can trigger pain responses.

In counselling, you can start to make sense of this. Understanding that your pain is real, but also changeable, helps to reduce fear and creates space for healing. Knowledge itself can be calming to the nervous system—because once you know what’s happening, you don’t have to feel quite so afraid of it.

Easing Your Nervous System Out of Fight-or-Flight

Chronic pain often keeps the body in a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. This stress response can increase tension, inflammation, and fatigue, making pain worse.

Counselling can help you teach your nervous system to feel safe again. Through gentle techniques like breathing exercises, grounding, guided imagery, mindfulness, or even creative expression, you can start to shift your body toward a more relaxed state—often called rest and digest.

Over time, these moments of calm help your body unlearn its overprotective patterns. Your pain signals may quiet down, your sleep and mood may improve, and your energy may begin to return.

Coping Strategies

Counselling equips you with practical coping strategies. You’ll learn techniques to manage pain, reduce stress, and navigate daily challenges with more ease.These tools don’t erase the pain, but they help you build confidence and regain a sense of control over your life.

Improved Communication

Chronic pain affects relationships. Counselling can help you express your needs and boundaries more clearly—with healthcare providers, family, and friends.Feeling understood and supported can reduce stress and help prevent the kind of emotional strain that often worsens pain.

Building Resilience

Through counselling, you can develop a deeper understanding of your pain and how to respond to it rather than react to it.This builds resilience—the ability to adapt, recover, and find balance even when symptoms flare. Over time, you begin to trust your body again and notice that setbacks don’t feel quite as overwhelming.

Creating a Supportive Network

Finally, counselling helps you identify and strengthen your support system. You’ll learn how to reach out when you need help and how to let others in.Connection is a key ingredient in calming the nervous system—and in remembering that you don’t have to do this alone.Conclusion

Counselling can be a powerful resource for those experiencing chronic pain. A better understanding of why it is happening coupled with strategies to effectively manage it and a shift in mindset can make a massive difference in your quality of life.

So, if you’re considering counselling, know that it might just be the powerful step you need to take.

~ Carla

Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC)

& Chronic Pain Coach

general contents of this website are provided solely for educational and informational purposes and are not meant to provide professional medical or psychiatric advice, counselling or therapeutic services.