Tips for Easing Your Nervous System: Noticing the Signs That You're Okay

Sometimes, I find myself humming while making tea or breathing deeply when I step outside. And when I catch it, I pause. I let it sink in: This is a sign that something in me feels okay right now. These little cues—quiet, subtle, and often overlooked—have become precious reminders that in this moment, I’m safe. I don’t have to brace myself. I don’t have to push myself. I can just be.

When you live with chronic pain or other chronic conditions, your body becomes a landscape of signals—many of which point to distress. You notice the heaviness in your limbs, the ache in your joints, the exhaustion that seeps in before you’ve even left bed. You notice what you haven’t done: the dishes, the laundry, the walk you meant to take. You notice that you’ve been sighing more, speaking less, withdrawing from the things that once made you feel like you. These are all valid, important signs. But they’re not the whole story.

The human brain is wired with something called a negativity bias—a survival mechanism that evolved to help us detect threats and stay alive. In modern life, especially when living with persistent pain, that bias can keep us stuck in high-alert mode. We become experts at scanning for what’s wrong, but less practiced at noticing what might be right—or even just okay enough.

This is something I’ve had to actively work on.

Over the years, I’ve developed a practice of noticing the small signs of okayness. They’re not flashy or dramatic. Sometimes they’re barely audible. But they matter deeply.

When I put on music, it means I’m not in total shutdown. When I take a warm bath, I remind myself: Everything is okay right now, no one needs me. When I drive to the store or go for a short walk, I tell myself: I am not in a rush. I don’t have to be anywhere else. At bedtime, I remind myself: Sleep will take care of me and my family now. I can let go.

These small internal check-ins are like breadcrumbs that lead my nervous system back to a place of relative calm. They're not magical fixes, but they are regulating cues—and in the world of chronic pain, nervous system regulation is everything.

Because here’s the hard truth: when we live in a state of constant worry, constant bracing, and constant vigilance, we wear ourselves down. We become more anxious, more exhausted, more emotionally raw. And while that’s completely understandable, it also becomes its own layer of suffering.

Learning to pause and recognize the signs that you're okay for this moment is not denial. It’s not unrealistic positivity. It’s actually a critical form of nervous system support. It’s part of what helps you recover, reset, and reconnect with your life outside of the pain.

So now, I look for the good signs, too:

• A higher volume on the TV, meaning I’m not so sensitive to sound.

• Ice packs that are still in the freezer, because I haven’t needed them today.

• The absence of sighing.

• My own laughter—or even just a smile.

  
  

These are signs of resilience. Of regulation. Of moments when my body and brain are catching their breath.

So I’ll ask you: What are your indicators that you’re doing okay—just for now?

Maybe it’s that you answered a text. Maybe it’s that you opened a window. Maybe it’s that you caught yourself humming.

Whatever it is, let it count.

In this moment, maybe everything is okay.

~ Carla

Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC)

Chronic Pain Coach

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