What if I am not as Broken as I Think?

I often see my daughter Greta as an exception to the rule. Medications and treatments that work for others don’t work for her. At first I was hopeful that things would work, but as time went on I became less hopeful. This is probably a common sentiment in this group. We kind of feel like our kids are broken…an exception to the rule. And sometimes they hear us talking about them like that...to doctors, to friends and family...

I also realize that I see myself as an exception to the rule. I feel like what works for others doesn’t really work for me. Especially when it comes to diets and exercise plans. I think that my hormones are out of whack and I have adrenal fatigue and I am broken.

The other night a thought came to me… "What if I am not broken, and not really that unique? What if what works for other people actually would work for me?"

I sat with that thought for a moment and it felt strange. And a little bit exciting. Maybe my THOUGHT that I am different and it won’t work for me keeps me from really committing to it? And keeps it from working.

You have likely heard of the placebo effect. The phenomenon that believing something will work enhances the chances that it will work. I always wished the placebo effect would work for Greta and I. But have you heard of the “nocebo” effect? It’s a real thing. You can google it. It is the phenomenon that believing something won’t work DECREASES the chance of it working for you.

Our thoughts are powerful. By nature, I protect myself by not getting my hopes up. Over the years I have regularly reminded myself that this new treatment probably won’t work for Greta or for I. And I know that I can back that thought up by all the times things haven’t worked.

But what if I am not so different from everyone else. What if my body is not broken and it will respond more than I realize? Is my thought that I am broken (or that my child is broken) getting in the way? I know that believing in a treatment likely isn’t going to just magically make it work (I have tried that). But is my belief that it won’t work getting in the way? Even 2%?

~ Carla

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